1. Solution request (clear, positive, do-able).  Positive means framing the request in a way that asks the person to do something (not stop something).  Clear means both people understand the request and the agreement.  Do-able means that it is possible and measurable.

  2. Check-in request.  Asking for reactions or input.


Solution request (clear, positive, do-able): Would you make these updates to the report and have 10 copies for the team by 8am Tuesday?  

Check-in request: How does this sound?  What are your ideas?

Including the intention: I’m really eager to get this information out to the team so they can start applying it, because it will make such a difference for them and help people feel included.  (Intention) Is it possible for you to make these updates and arrange for 10 copies ready for the Tuesday 8am meeting? (Specific do-able request) Do you think that is that doable within your workload? (Check-in request)

Requests increase collaboration and buy-in by honouring the sense of agency and autonomy of the receiver.  Orders or demands are costly because they can engender resistance in even the most committed team members, whose energy is better applied to goals.  It’s true that there may be situations (ideally rarely) where a request is not possible. In these situations, bring as much transparency and respect for others as you can to why you perceive your choices are limited.